I am frustrated with myself that I cannot stay focused or aligned in one given direction, emotionally, financially, spiritually…. I long for the freedom to explore the world and experience everything – culture, nature, society – all that our planet has to offer. I feel that I am weak, unable to reach this goal, and therefore I am thrust into the same cycle of consuming and regurgitating society’s image of what life should be.
Was I stupid getting married young without having the education or experience to help support myself and my family? I always wanted a meaningful career with a good income, that typical lifestyle each one of us are told we should strive for. I only ever wanted to be happy and successful – a roll model and mentor for my children. I wanted to help heal and nurture those who needed it without feeling pity or judgement. I wanted my family to be proud of me…. I wanted to be proud of me.
But now I see that the journey I am on in this life is my education. My purpose is to learn and share my experiences with others. I am not college educated, but my heart knows I have learned more in my life so far than I ever thought I could. So I guess it’s time for me to open my eyes again…. or maybe for the first time. I won’t stop searching or sharing and I cannot wait for the next adventure